Just me rambling about a dream I had about Insane Clown Posse
Had another crazy dream last night. This never used to happen back when I was a stoner.
Dreamt I went to a party at some dirty house out in the suburbs and was hanging out and suddenly realized that it was at the parents house of the guys from Insane Clown Posse. I somehow recognized Violent J immediately. His voice and appearance and mannerisms were very crisp and clear in my dream. For some reason I decided I should hang out with him so I could get exposure to someone famous that I normally would not interact with. He turned out to be a really nice guy. The house was a real mess, and clearly had children living there. I wasn’t drinking, which makes sense because I don’t drink any more, but everyone else was, but no one was like, shitfaced drunk or anything.
Then suddenly I’m alone in their house, so I go out to the garage to find the party and no one is there either. I search for a minute and find Violent J’s dad, who explains that I had fallen asleep on their couch and it was morning now. Party was over. I was kind of disappointed. Not sure why I’d passed out when I wasn’t drinking. J’s dad tells me that I’d fallen asleep on the spot where the dog usually sleeps, so their dog had climbed up on top of me to sleep and he’d had to pull the dog off me.
So then I just kind of dicked around in their house, not sure if I’m over staying my welcome, but for some reason, not wanting to leave. Then I went down in their basement where they had this big chemistry lab set up, not a meth lab or anything, but a legit, well funded chemistry lab that was some kind of extension of the local college. Violent J and his team were running an experiment with some kind of liquid. I was fascinated and wanted to see how a chemistry lab actually operates. Then I realized they’d given me an internship there. So I watch them run this experiment where they spread a thin layer of liquid out on this huge table and then add something to it and all of a sudden it starts bubbling like crazy and they all jump backward, like shocked and scared but happy at the same time. They didn’t know it was going to do that, but the bubbling for some reason is a real positive result for them even though they weren’t expecting it, like it opens up all sorts of possibilities for the project they’re working on. But first they have to make sure it wasn’t some mistake, like they didn’t accidentally add some other component without noticing.
Then the family take me to the other side of the basement where they have their model railroad and model train collection. It’s HO scale though, which is slightly disappointing to me since my favorite was always N scale, but still, it’s pretty cool.
And overall I’m just surprised by how nice and cool Violent J’s family is, even if their house full of kids is pretty messy and kinda gross.
Then I start a long process of gathering my things and heading on my way.
I should mention, I am not a fan of Insane Clown Posse’s music. I tried it a couple times and it didn’t connect with me, even in an ironic way.
It’s times like this where I ask myself, “what value does this actually hold for my reader? How does this actually improve their lives?” And I can’t really think of anything–like someone describing their dream is often the most boring form of conversation–not as bad as listening to someone re-tell the plot from an anime, but close. But then I continue on anyway, hoping maybe I’ll stumble onto something that has value.
Maybe that value is a lesson in how things are not always as they seem, that many people have a surface demeanor that’s crude and nasty, but underneath they are compassionate and intelligent–that’s sort of what ChatGPT said when I showed it this dream and asked it to be my dream shaman. Cuz one would expect Violent J to be crude and–well, violent, but in my dream he was this sweet guy who did quality scientific research for the college. ChatGPT says this represents the idea that I should let go of my rigid judgments and trust that there can be brilliance and growth in the midst of wild and messy places that have anger and nastiness on the surface, but underneath can be kind of compassionate and reasonable.
Maybe the party and Violent J were a metaphor for social media, and the chaos and nastiness that comes with it. My fear of participating in it, since it’s always gone kind of wrong in the past. It’s always devolved into fighting, and me trying to prove I’m right and show others how wrong they are. Maybe the dream is telling me that this time actually will be different if I just go into it with the willingness to let my preconceptions be wrong and to let myself “fall asleep” and just let stuff happen around me without needing to control it, let myself be an intern who just watches and learns. And maybe something positive will happen that is kind of scary and unexpected.
