Automobile Trauma is Just as Valid as Other Forms of Trauma

Years ago I had a girlfriend who was terrified of automobiles. Whenever we would drive anywhere, she would grip the handles in terror. A few times she would even break down in tears if someone cut us off or I had to hit the brakes too hard. She would sometimes chant to herself “it’s perfectly fine. We’re safe. It’s all safe. This is all perfectly safe.” It recurred a few times where we would need to drive somewhere and she would have a panic attack, then she would call herself…

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I Committed a Hate-Crime. Here’s How it Happened.

I’m finally telling this story after all these years because I have been seeing a lot of Trump supporters and apologists who believe that the epidemic of hate crimes against minorities right now is mostly invented. What people often don’t understand is how hate crimes actually function and how the victims are just as likely to hide the incident as the perpetrators. This makes them very easy for conservatives to deny and ignore. But these things do happen. They can happen to anyone and they can be committed by anyone.…

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22 True Stories of non-consent

I’ll start with a trigger warning. This is a rapid-fire series of true stories from my life, each of which made me think in some way about consent. I may be a white male from an upper-middle class family but I’ve still seen some shit. Consider yourself warned. I think all humans face enough non-consensual situations to fill a book, so we have to pick and choose which ones will be significant. These are the ones I chose. You can jump around if you feel like it since most of…

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Things I want to do when I’m a millionaire

stuff that’s more meaningful than buying a yacht I do not claim any sort of ownership or copyright on any of these ideas so if you want to take one and run with it, please go for it. Let me know how it turns out and maybe I can help. I haven’t quite made it to millionaire status yet but there’s still time. I’m 41 now and plan on retiring at 45. My early retirement may be taken up with Custom Data Organizer, the spreadsheet-replacement app I am currently building, so…

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My Night in Jail

My Night in Jail So much knowledge about criminal justice corruption gained in one night I stood at a counter in the back of a high-volume fish and chips restaurant breading cod when the kitchen manager, Rob, grabbed me and invited me to smoke a bowl in the outside storage area. I normally did not smoke pot at work, however I would usually make an exception when my boss insisted. I left the fish sitting on the table and we headed out to the porch and sat down on a couple plastic…

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All My Police Interactions

All My Police Interactions A brief history of my life when it comes to the cops My first ever interaction with the police happened while I was pooping in a library bathroom in third grade. I left my backpack outside the stall. The librarian came in, saw my backpack but not my feet under the stall door. She had a meltdown thinking it was a bomb and called an officer who happened to be nearby. The cop talked her down until I finally had the nerve to speak up and tell…

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My Police Brutality Story

My Police Brutality Story First I’ll start with a trigger warning. I include bloody details. But please remember: I did not get a trigger warning before watching this. Certain details have been changed so that the exact time and location can’t be identified. The quotes are certainly not precise. I did my best to recreate my experience as accurately as I could but I am well aware of the problems with human memories, particularly with intense experiences. That’s all I can offer. Around the year 2000 I went to a…

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The Officer Did Nothing to Hurt Me

A poem about not police brutality The officer did nothing to hurt me that night. I looked like someone who had stolen a DVD player. It’s easy to argue that I was not harmed, that I’m just being a baby. I should be thankful he realized I was the wrong guy. I should be thankful I’m not black. They have it much worse. I should be thankful I didn’t flinch in fear. I’d probably be dead if I had. The officer did nothing to hurt me. He did not hit…

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How a Two-Minute Interaction with the Police Changed Me Forever

Even standard procedures can have consequences I was walking home from a Halloween party. I think it was 2002. I knew it was illegal to ride a bicycle after drinking. I was already terrified of cops and not taking any chances. A cop car pulled up about two car lengths behind me as I walked on the sidewalk, shining the spotlight on me. I looked over my shoulder, but kept walking. The car then followed me at walking pace, about two car-lengths behind me for several blocks, shining the spotlight…

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Ramblings About How I Cured My Depression

Ramblings About How I Cured My Depression I used to be very depressed when I was a kid, to the point where I made plans to kill myself and I think once when I was about twelve I even walked out the door with the intention of following through with it. One day in seventh grade I remember telling half the class that I wished I was dead. Someone told me that wasn’t cool to joke about and I insisted that I was not joking and I genuinely wished I…

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How Logic and Reason Help Me Lead a (Relatively) Fear-Free Life

Mysteriously paralyzed, my atheism kept me calm while totally vulnerable. This is the first and only time this has ever happened to me, but a few nights ago I had a very strange occurrence. I woke up at about 4:00 AM, in the near pitch-blackness of my bedroom, and found myself paralyzed. I tried to sit up, but couldn’t. I tried to lift an arm, and could not, so I started trying every little part of my body that I could think of, and somehow, nothing was working. My mind…

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My Anarchistic Thoughts on the Gang Murder I Witnessed

This shooter doesn’t appear any worse than police or military officers So I’ve been thinking about the guy I watched get shot in front of my apartment a few weeks ago, and more specifically, about the guy doing the shooting. I’ve been running over what my buddy said about how most people who shoot each other in those situations are being driven by fear… it’s not about hatred or a love of death and killing or even of wanting to look tough (though I believe wanting to look tough is a…

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On Being an Anarchist but Still Going Corporate

I’m fraternizing with the enemy Here is another article I wrote in 2010 on my WordPress blog when my career was really just getting started and I was sorting out how I felt about working for a big corporation and making lots of money. I actually went corporate years ago, but now I’m moving up again in the corporate world. I got hired on full-time at the agency where I’ve been working the last six months. Before this I was making more money than I felt I deserved, and now I’m…

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