Year: 2025

Two simple lessons in dealing with the drunk I’ve got a roommate right now who has suddenly turned toxic. I guess it started months ago when she started lashing out at various people, just a little bit here and there, but I guess being the landlord it took her some time to get around to being nasty toward me. At this point she’s alienated practically everyone in our lives who isn’t in a relationship with her. Her former partner warned me about her, claimed she threatened to try to get…

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Cycles of Bitterness I’ve been in a bitter mindset the last couple days–you know that feeling where you keep thinking about things people have done in the past to hurt you and it’s like, kind of fun just to be bitter about it. It’s sort of like a temporary addiction, where it’s like you enjoy being bitter and running over negative things and thinking about how you should have handled it, how you should have spoken up, told someone off, cut them off etc. I’ll literally think to myself “i’m…

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What a Toothache Taught Me About the Limits of Inner Peace I’ve been meaning to talk about this for a few weeks, how I was quickly proven wrong about my own mental health and how I’ve kinda maybe been talking out my ass about how happy and zen I am.In previous entries, for like the last year, I kept talking about how great my life is and how I’ve reached this sense of zen and constant joy and love for life, and yes, that is still true. I’m still a…

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Just me rambling about a dream I had about Insane Clown Posse Had another crazy dream last night. This never used to happen back when I was a stoner.Dreamt I went to a party at some dirty house out in the suburbs and was hanging out and suddenly realized that it was at the parents house of the guys from Insane Clown Posse. I somehow recognized Violent J immediately. His voice and appearance and mannerisms were very crisp and clear in my dream. For some reason I decided I should…

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Image-making with Midjourney, the ideas I steal, and why I don’t believe in intellectual property. I always procrastinate, then finally get down to writing like half an hour before midnight/bedtime then get sucked into whatever nonsense I’m rambling on about then before I know it it’s 1:30 or 2:00 and I need to force myself to stop. Tonight is no different. I started posting all these free-write speed blog entries to Medium.com. But I was like, scared or something, like scared of losing steam, or maybe of the criticism or…

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So I re-published This Desert Life, the first novel I wrote in 1999/2000 and disowned for like 20 years. I did what I said in my previous entry: loaded it up into a text to speech app and found that, like yeah, there’s a lot in there that’s still embarrassing, like the way I handle sex and rape and the offensive slur i used at one point and –well a number of other things, but at the same time, so much positive emotions came back to me, and I found…

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I just finished listening to A Perfect Union of Contrary Things, the biography of Maynard James Keenan, and like the vast majority of audio books that I listen to, I realize that hour per hour it adds an order of magnitude more value to my life than does TV (currently watching the 2024 season of Kitchen Nightmares) and video games (still playing through the new Doom). I’m thinking more and more about just quitting TV and video games almost entirely, or like by 95%, down to just special occasions. After…

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I watched a movie over the weekend called Eighth Grade written by Bo Burnham, whose this genius comedian/musician whose kind of on a whole other level of comedy… this movie wasn’t a comedy exactly though it was funny in parts… super awkward. I normally don’t like awkward movies but this one wasn’t like American Pie or Meet the Parents, it was a movie driven toward realism, like it could have been a completely true story down to nearly every detail. Hard to watch, but very very good. But I was…

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I just finished A Good Life, 15 essential habits for living with hope and joy by Pope Francis. I decided to buy it last night after my weird day of feeling like I was wasting my life, thinking it could bring me some motivation, and I think it worked. I’m still blown away by how much that guy just seems to understand how life really works. The fact that I don’t believe in God in a literal sense, it’s like that doesn’t seem to matter at all. I still pull…

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I’ve been really struggling this weekend with motivation. I guess there’s more important topics for me to write about, especially it being memorial day weekend so I should be talking about peace and my frustration with the whole rest of the country who seems to openly celebrate war and death and the us-vs-them culture that breeds hate for anyone who is not born on the same plot of land as you, and about how I, like so many other people attack the people who most reflect my own personality. I’ve…

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Okay, I am finally going to try to write this out, about how I want to hire someone to promote my content and app for me. This job would be open to… well the right person… hard to know who the right person is… you don’t need to agree with everything I say here of course, in fact I would want someone who can openly disagree with me and not feel uncomfortable about that.My budget is $600 per month. You wouldn’t be expected to work any more than 10 hours…

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Had a dream I was at a convention of some sort. I was in my hotel room and the lady in the room next to me was looking for someone to watch over her cat and couldn’t find anyone so I finally volunteered. The cat was in my room now and I went down to eat in the hotel restaurant. I come back and find that the cat had removed the screen from the window and almost fallen out. In the gap on the outside of the screen I remembered…

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woke up real early today. It’s 7:35 now. this not smoking weed thing really does reduce the amount of sleep I need.Had a dream last night that me and a small tactical team were stalking some bad guy. I’m sure this was inspired by the level I was playing last night in Terminator Resistance where you have to chase after The Infiltrator. First we were outside chasing and strategizing, each of us in a different spot, trying to head him off. One of the guys I’m working with is like…

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I told myself that I would write an entry today that progresses my goals. Specifically an entry outlining how I want to hire someone to do social media for me, and how I want it all to work, outlining my expectations, strategies and ideas for what I want them to do. Or if not, I have other entries i want to make that I feel are important to talk about, like one about my trauma surrounding police brutality and my cop cousin who assaulted me when I was about ten…

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I quit smoking pot two days ago after a quarter century of indulging pretty much daily. Feels kind of strange but not nearly as bad as I feared. This is my first time ever actually trying to quit. It’s not like the tobacco which I smoked for 20 years and every year I tried to quit a couple times. I must have tried to quit tobacco 40 some times before finally succeeding after reading The Easy Way to Stop Smoking by Allen Carr.But marijuana is different. I never felt bad…

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Over the weekend I went to a party at a cabin out in the middle of the woods. I went on a hike with a friend and he was a little concerned we would get lost and I then talked a bunch of big talk about how I grew up wandering around the woods and never got lost, you don’t have to worry with me blah blah blah. Then we went out walking and started enjoying it and I guess we walked a lot farther than we realized and sure…

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I got a marketing email from Amazon a couple days ago that said that some of my books were eligible to be turned into an audiobook using AI voice. I turned three of them into audiobooks almost immediately. One of the only times a marketing email was actually effective on me.https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Kalin+RingkvistThe other three were not eligible because they did not have table of contents, so right now it’s just my short story collections that have audio versions. I went through The Pioneers and gave it a Table of Contents and…

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I had some really difficult stuff I wanted to talk about, like war and death, and how when I was a kid, I wanted to, like countless other boys, join the military and just kill kill kill in a sociopathic orgy of suffering, and how that horrifying perspective that I had as a child eventually led me to go totally the opposite and become devoted to non-violence, de-escalation and turning swords into plowshares.But instead, I figured I’d talk about something less intense: fat shaming. I feel like I need like…

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Haven’t written in a while, cuz of like a weird fear, I’m trying to wrap my brain around this, like why do I resist sitting down and writing in this journal? It’s not quite like dread, it’s like this laziness, I just want to sit in front of the TV and watch my stories. Why is is it so hard to force myself to sit down and start writing? If I didn’t enjoy it, it would make sense, if I didn’t get value out of this it would make sense.…

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Let’s talk about the media I’m consuming right now. Currently listening to Patrick Stewart’s autobiography Making it So, but I was listening to it on Spotify as I didn’t realize the Spotify has all these audiobooks, but also didn’t realize that you only get so many minutes. And the UI isn’t nearly as good as Audible’s– no, had to top myself from running on a tangent about Audible vs Spotify. Need to keep this about things that people can extract real value from.There were a few parallels with my own…

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I’ve been watching this old show from my childhood called Alien Nation and it presented a scenario where I actually would support violence or even genocide. It got me thinking about my sense of pacifism and how in many ways it’s more about attitude and language than actual literal non-violence.I was obsessed with this show as a kid, at one point even more than Star Trek The Next Generation, which was running at the same time. It only made it one season. Looking back, it had fantastic ideas, original plots,…

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When I was 6 I wanted to write a science fiction novel about Transformers but didn’t know how to read so I had to ask my mom how to spell every word. I got maybe two sentences into it before giving up and deciding to wait until I could spell. It took ten years for me to get back to it. My parents let me watch a Nazi documentary. I remember seeing actual footage of a German police officer shooting a small child through the head in front of her…

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So I ranted about peace last entry, about how we are all God’s children and even when someone is actively out to hurt us, it’s still best to see them as humans, to have empathy, and to consider them to be ultimately equals on the same team. It seems so counterintuitive… but I also realized that I left out a big part of it: boundaries. People have always told me that I’d get my ass handed to me in life with this attitude and from my perspective I’ve very much…

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I listened to a couple books by Pope Francis recently and I feel like they’ve sparked another spiritual awakening within me, (which has happened maybe 20 or 30 times in my life).It’s a good feeling.Like I’m no longer alone.I always saw the catholic religion as an enemy. I mean, I’ve seen some seriously messed up stuff come out of extreme religion, so to hear the freaking pope saying things that make me shout “A-fucking-men”, it’s really quite a shock. I’m still just as much an atheist as I was before…

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So this one time I was super high on acid and walking down Eldridge avenue in Bellingham Washington toward Squalicum beach with a good friend and we walk past this house that has a little rock wall in front that lifts its yard up a couple feet from the sidewalk. In this rock wall, there’s all these beautiful little plants and flowers poking out of the cracks. They looked really well manicured but also natural like they were meant to be there. I start going on to my buddy about…

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